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Monthly Archives: February 2013

Music Video of the Week: Cold Mailman

I know no one really likes hearing about other people’s dreams, so I’m not going to segue into this post by talking about any of my recent dreams (except for the one where I had a turf war with David Bowie on my family’s farm…that one was great). Instead I’m just going to let this awesome music video and its dream imagery stand on its own. I hadn’t heard of Norwegian band Cold Mailman or the video’s director, Andre Chocron, before seeing this clip on Stereogum, but I hope this slightly surreal footage gets them some notice in the US.

And if you like this music video, you should check out the video that director Andre Chocron did for another Norwegian act, Mikhael Paskalev. I’m oddly entranced by this video of an underwear-clad guy dancing around what looks like an IKEA-furnished model home.

 

My Rejected Scripts #3: Deadli-er Catch

DeadliestCatch

Esteemed Discovery Channel Executives,

Greetings! Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedules to review my reality TV pitch. I know that you could be spending this time in your office hot tub that Bear Grylls carved using only a whittled Norwegian stick, or having a frenemies dance-off with those bitches from the History Channel, so I really appreciate that you’ve instead chosen to spend some quality time with my bold new vision.

First of all, I want you to know that I really like Deadliest Catch. Before watching that show, I didn’t even know that crab fisherman was a viable profession. I thought it was one of those salt-of-the-earth jobs that only lives on in mythology, like lamplighting, milkmanning, or newspaper writing. But now I know better. Crab fishing is probably the most noble profession there is—way better than the previous careers I have pursued in skunk baiting, Appalachian hermit diplomacy, and Olive Garden salad maker. Deadliest Catch does an amazing job of capturing the gritty lives of America’s most majestic heroes…but there is one way the show could be better. You see, the crab fisherman on the show aren’t nearly inept enough. They are ept if I ever saw it, performing their jobs in a highly satisfactory manner. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned from my days of watching Paris Hilton’s The Simple Life (I had a lot of extra time to watch TV back when I was a skunk baiter), it’s that people love watching other people fail at jobs. Therefore, as a young woman who has never seen the ocean and who has only ever eaten imitation crab, I propose that you create the spin-off Deadliest Catch: Madeline’s On a Boat. Although reality TV is known for its unpredictable and volatile nature, I have used the space below to outline some scenarios that might ensue if you paid to send me off on my own crab fishing expedition:

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Amateur Blogger Wanders Out of the Desert and Vows to Continue Writing Unprofitable, Seldom-Read Blog

BreakingBadPilot

Hello dear readers,

I know you’ve probably been distraught for the last several months, what with my complete absence from the blogging world. I’m sure you asked yourselves, “Now that this Madeline character is off the grid, where will I read dramatic novelizations of music videos or awful movie pitches? There’s not enough of that kind of literature on the Internet, damn it.” I’m sorry to have left you in such a state, dear readers. Since I started Pop Culture Tea, I’ve taken a new job and moved from eastern Washington to Austin, Texas, so I’ve been taking some time to get used to my job and adjust to the culture of Texas. (People call me “ma’am” all the time here. It’s weird. Also, there are way more dead possums on the side of the road here than there were in Washington. I wasn’t prepared for that.)

Because I’ve been preoccupied with my move and my job, I kind of put my blog on the back burner, then took that back burner off the stove and locked it in a vault which I vowed never to open again. “You’re an AmeriCorps volunteer,” I told myself. “No more time for pop culture humor articles; you have 16-year-olds’ college application essays to edit now.” But then the other day I tripped over a slow-moving possum on the side of the road, hit my head something fierce, and had the following epiphany: like Liz Lemon and Erin Brockovich, I should be able to balance multiple facets of my life. I should be able to give my students essay feedback like “expand on this sense of alienation” while also writing phrases like “waterfall full of memory trout” on my personal time. So I’ll be updating Pop Culture Tea periodically—consider subscribing if you like my stuff, because I can’t promise that I’ll be updating on a consistent schedule, and if you subscribe you will be informed by the Internet heralds whenever I post more of my wordthoughts.

Cordially yours,

Madeline Jacobson