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State of the Pop Music Union

I ended up spending more time in a car than I was planning on yesterday (gotta love Austin traffic) so I decided to listen to NPR in order to catch up on culture and current events. I got all caught up and cultured for awhile, but around the time that Terry Gross said, “When we come back, we’ll be talking more about cats”, I decided that what I really needed to do was catch up with Top 40 radio.

And apparently I’ve completely missed the recent pop music boat, because there was a lot of futuristic space person music that I didn’t recognize. I mean, I recognized “Blurred Lines” because I’ve been outside my house in the past 4 months, but beyond that…not much. So I decided that the best thing I could do for my blog this week would be to look up the Billboard Top 40 for this week and break all the songs into easy to understand categories so that other out-of-touch, crotchety twentysomethings can reconnect with today’s youth.

Madeline’s Comprehensive Billboard Top 40, Sept. 2013

I sang this song soulfully in the car this week.

  • “Wake Me Up”, Avicii 
  • “Royals”, Lorde Although “Tennis Courts” is better
  • “Summertime Sadness”, Lana Del Rey vs. Cedric Gervais
  • “Safe and Sound”, Capital Cities
  • “Same Love” Macklemore & Ryan Lewis feat. Mary Lambert I can’t not sing this. I’m compelled every time the chorus starts.
  • “Can’t Hold Us” Macklemore & Ryan Lewis
  • “I Need Your Love” Calvin Harris feat. Ellie Goulding
  • “Gone, Gone, Gone”, Phillip Phillips I see what you did there, Phillip Phillips, with your name and your repetitive song title
  • “Come and Get It”, Selena Gomez I will never not like this song or Selena Gomez

I used to love this song but now I want to Thelma-and-Louise off the nearest canyon every time I hear it.

  • “Blurred Lines”, Robin Thicke The “hey, hey, hey” part always gets stuck in my head for days. Just that. 
  • “Radioactive”, Imagine Dragons
  • “Get Lucky”, Daft Punk
  • “Cups Song”, Anna Kendrick Maybe I’m just bitter because I don’t have the coordination to perform the cup song.
  • “Mirrors”, Justin Timberlake
  • “Sail”, AWOLNATION
  • “Thrift Shop”, Macklemore & Ryan Lewis And the radio has ruined one of my favorite artists. Thanks, radio.

This person has a new single, eh? Good for them. It’s good to have hobbies.

  • “Roar”, Katy Perry Is Katy Perry doing a safari-themed album?
  • “Berzerk”, Eminem
  • “Holy Grail”, Jay-Z
  • “Applause”, Lady Gaga
  • “Hold On, We’re Going Home”, Drake feat. Majid Jordan
  • “Best Song Ever”, One Direction Is it, though?
  • “Take Back the Night”, Justin Timberlake Oh good, I was wondering when JT would come out with a song promoting a major feminist event.
  • “Just Give Me a Reason”, P!nk feat. Nate Ruess
  • “Beware”, Big Sean feat. Lil Wayne and Jhene Aiko
  • “The Other Side”, Jason Derulo

Who is–? What is–? *sigh* 

  • “Clarity”, Zedd feat. Foxes
  • “That’s My Kind of Night”, Luke Bryan
  • “Cruise” Florida Georgia Line feat. Nelly Oh God. Why?! Why has Nelly done another country crossover?!
  • “Round Here”, Florida Georgia Line Them again?!
  • “The Way”, Ariana Grande feat. Mac Miller
  • “Gas Pedal” Sage the Gemini feat. IamSu I just stared at this artist name for a full minute, trying to make sense of it.
  • “Night Train”, Jason Aldean This “country music” is becoming quite the popular thing, eh?
  • “It Goes Like This”, Thomas Rhett

No.

  • “Love Somebody”, Maroon 5 Please just make another music video like “Payphone” so I can do another novelization for my blog.
  • “Treasure”, Bruno Mars
  • “Little Bit of Everything” Keith Urban Didn’t country have its own chart at one point?
  • “Give It 2 U” Robin Thicke feat. Kendrick Lamar You can keep it, Robin.

Let’s never again mention twerking from this point forward.

  • “We Can’t Stop”, Miley Cyrus
  • “Wrecking Ball”, Miley Cyrus
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About Madeline Jacobson

Saturated in pop culture since 1990. Writing about it since 2012. If you want to talk to me about anything I blog about, please do! Comment on my blog, or find me on Twitter @mjacobsonwrites

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